Somebody Knows Me Too Well

Got this from Matt in an email saying only "it's like it was made for you...". Although I guess it was a little bit obvious - I mean, Muppets + Queen? How could I not love it?

And We're Down To The Wire (with updates!)

Where were we? Aah. That's right. In the nice clean kitchen (ha). I am so on this shit.

Weekend before:
make stock for gravy (done)
clean house (not half bad)
attempt to make space in fridge (pretty good)
roast spiced nuts (or in this case pick up a big bag of good-looking tamari almonds at the co-op)

Day Before:
pick up rolls (lookin' good)
make cranberry (nice and tart)
make pies (burned the crust on one but for some reason the other is looking perfect)
make white bean dip (done, yum, no snacking!)
iron linens (?!)
put together "guest bedroom" for sous-chefs (all taken care of)
make sous-chefs iron linens? (not so far, maybe tomorrow)
clean veggies (green beans and crudite-type action for appetizers, sous-chefs got it covered)
corral necessary serving bowls and utensils (eh, in the morning)

Day Of:
stick turkey in oven
deal with green beans (possibly do in a.m. and reheat?)
set tables
put out appetizers
make gravy
heat up sides

Afterwards:
make coffee
make whipping cream
serve pies
make more coffee

Can Somebody Confirm -

Is this really the Pointer Sisters? And does anybody else remember this vividly from their childhood?


Edited - for Lauralynne:


And the guy who posted this points out this is Pixar's Bud Luckey...
Same Bud Luckey.

Review Time Again! The Master and Margarita by Mikhail Bulgakov

I think Mella may have recommended this one, I was a little skeptical at first. As a reader, I am slow to catch on to allegories and allusions sometimes, especially when they are Biblical (or Biblical AND Faustian, in this case). Or 1930's Russian. Thank God for footnotes.

Part one of this book is set in Moscow in the 1930's. A couple of guys are out and about and they run into a stranger who tells them a short narrative from the perspective of Pontius Pilate and tells one of them he's going to die. Then one of them abruptly dies and the other goes mad. The rest of the first chapter is the stranger's three entertaining minions wreaking havoc on Moscow, stealing the dead guy's apartment for the stranger and driving people mad. The first guy who goes mad meets his neighbor in the asylum, a man only called the Master (cue Doctor Who joke re: sound of drums). The Master wrote a poorly received manuscript about Pontius Pilate (the story we first heard?) and went mad when it was roundly (and publicly?!) rejected by all the critics.

Now I have to say, I was skeptical about part one. It is very hard to keep track of who is going mad and who is being persecuted by the stranger's henchmen. Also, no sympathetic characters have really shown up except the mad poet and the Master, and we don't see a ton of either of them as there are so many characters with long Russian names having their lives entertainingly ruined by the minions. One of whom is a talking cat named Behemoth. So extra points for Behemoth.

However, part two is worth it, as it is much more straightforward. Here we really meet Margarita, who was mentioned by the Master in part one. She is unhappily married and in love with the Master, who is still in the asylum after burning his manuscript. She has saved what she could of his manuscript and still pines for him. The stranger devil's minions show up and offer her a deal - she basically goes with them and they promise her happiness. Having nothing to lose by now, off she goes, becomes a witch, incidentally takes revenge on the Master's critics, and presides over the devil's masked ball (this was where I really enjoyed having the footnotes to figure out who all the guests were). She is a great character and the devil rewards her in the end. And then we're back to the story of Pontius Pilate. I don't want to completely spoiler-ize this thing but it all adds up fairly well in the end and I am glad I bulled through part one. But I still feel like I need to read up on PP as I'm sure I missed out on a lot of the nuance of the Pilate storyline. Overall, very interesting though and thanks for whoever gave me the recommendation!

And just for kicks:

Le Plan

So with T-minus one week until 20 people descend upon my home for a hectic but fun afternoon of food and family, here is the run-down. I love me some list-making. And party-throwing. AND I have the day before T-Day for extra prep...

1. Turkey. This will be pre-cut by the lovely gents at Butcher Boy. The wings and legs will get roasted on their own because I am lazy and that is easy. The breast will get stuffed with rosemary, half an onion and half a lemon. Under the skin it will get butter with garlic, more rosemary and sage from the yard. On top it will get bacon, as is traditional in Matt's family (mostly so they can fight over the bacon later). This will minimize basting and general opening of the ovens so everything will cook reasonably fast.

2. Rolls. From House Of Bread. They don't mess around and I can pre-order and just pick them up the day before.

3. Cranberry Sauce. Probably will get made the day before. Mostly cranberries, possibly with some sort of citrus, some dried fruit and/or a moderate amount of sugar. If I was hard-core I'd do this but I am probably too lazy.4. Stuffing. Brother-in-law's got it covered. I'm not a fan so it's best if somebody else does this. He has mentioned, variously, pancetta and cornbread. I don't know if they will both be in the same recipe.

5. Yams. Love 'em. Could eat 'em until I turn orange. Mother-in-law makes them regularly so she gets to bring 'em. No sweet stuff, just baked. Luuuuuurve.

6. Salad. Mom's got it covered. Thus, more room in the fridge for me.

7. Roasted veggies. My aunt has brought these in the past so she's on the hook for 'em again.

8. Green beans. I will probably do these right after the turkey goes in the oven, I figure I can stick them in the warm oven to reheat after the turkey comes out. I now have lots of options for these, based on that last post. Thanks, everybody!

9. Mashed potatoes. Brother-in-law is also on the hook for these. He likes to cook and has the shortest distance to travel of anybody. So my sister just has to help him carry it all in.

10. Appetizers. People will be showing up any time after about noon, I am guessing. With beer. So for those who came early to beat the traffic, there will be crackers with a couple different cheeses, toasted veggie tapenade (yay for Trader Joe! also spell check wants to replace tapenade with tapeworm. no thanks, spell check) those little mozzarella balls, olives, possibly sliced salami if I go for the gusto, and cut up vegetables and some white bean dip something like this for the healthy snackers. Also, spiced nuts (haven't decided what kind yet but these are hard to screw up. Pecans maybe? Or almonds). This requires almost no actual cooking-type work so I am all over it.

11. Pies. People are bringing variously, apple, pecan and peach pies or other desserts. My plan is to cover the pumpkin dept. as it is my favorite. I am torn between this and this. The first one has been a success in the past but the second one looks sooo goooood. *insert drool here* I may make both just to cause trouble. Because we really need six desserts.12. Miscellany. Whipped cream will get made after dinner so it doesn't take up too much space in the fridge. Gravy will be a pain in the ass. I will probably make turkey stock this weekend for a head start. Veggies will get cut up by the visiting cousins who get here Wednesday. They also get to clean the green beans. I can do all the cooking but if I have some sous-chefs sleeping on my futon by golly they will be slicing and dicing for me. And probably ironing linens and setting tables as well. Drinkers get to bring beer and wine, I will provide a variety of nonalcoholic options.


So: Weekend before: Make stock for gravy, clean house (ha). Attempt to make space in fridge. Roast spiced nuts.

Day Before: pick up rolls, make cranberry, pies and white bean dip. Iron linens (?!) Put together "guest bedroom" for sous-chefs. Make sous-chefs iron linens?

Day Of: Stick turkey in oven, deal with green beans (possibly do in a.m. and reheat?), set tables, put out appetizers and make gravy. Once turkey comes out, put in sides that need heating up. Doesn't sound so bad, does it?

Now what have I forgotten?

Moving On.

We will burn the Xmas bridge when we come to it. For now, we focus on T-Day. Only 20 people, and the turkey is already ordered. Most of the sides and desserts are being brought, so I just have to pick up the little piddly things like rolls and cranberries. And maybe some green beans.

How do we all feel about green beans? I haven't ever made them for the holidays as I am not a traditional casserole fan. I don't do things that involve canned soup but I do love me some green beans. I was thinking of just blanching them and then tossing them with a nice mix of exotic mushrooms sauteed in butter and white wine. Still festive but not too heavy, I figure. Any thoughts/suggestions?

Damned If I Do/Don't (this may get deleted)

So Matt wants to have Christmas with his family in Reno. And my family wants me to come down and have Christmas with them in Los Gatos. And if I spend Christmas with my family I will spend the whole time being Cinderella and helping my parents cook and clean because everyone else thinks they are suddenly a guest now that they have kids and I have nothing better to do than do all the work since I have no kids to watch. And we will spend at least one day on a miserable, pain-in-the-ass trip to somewhere large and crowded that will also involve crappy traffic and no parking (Academy of Science, I'm looking at you) where we will have no fun because everyone will spend the whole time chasing kids around. Trips like that are not meant for groups of 15 when there are at least 5 kids under 8 years old and no schoolbus involved. And Matt has no sympathy. And I am kind of sick of the whole thing. It makes me not want to go at all.

We are going to go down the day after and spend 3-4 days hanging out if the weather is not too crappy to drive down. That way Matt can have Christmas morning with his nieces and nobody will really notice I am not there when there are 5 little kids running around and fighting over presents Christmas morning. I will still get to see my sister who I only see twice a year and my grandmother who I should see more. But maybe I will be less miserable. Because right now I am tired of being guilt tripped and miserable when it's starting to look like I won't have any fun no matter what I do.

And now I am crying on my data sheets. I hate family sometimes. I miss having Christmas with my parents but hell if I am not sick of my sisters. And I haven't even see the one in question since her wedding in September. And Matt is no help at all.